If
it's true that there's an 8-year-old boy inside every
man, "Transformers" is just the ticket to
bring the kid out. Big, loud and full of testosterone-fueled
car fantasies, Michael Bay's actioner hits a new peak
for CGI work, showcasing spectacular chases and animated
transformation sequences seamlessly blended into live-action
surroundings. There's no longer any question whether
special effects can be made more realistic: The issue
is whether disposable actors can be trained to play
better with bluescreens. Paramount/DreamWorks' summer
tentpole is certain to do gangbusters biz, while the
sequel-screaming ending and the usual spinoffs should
send ancillary through the roof.
Toy giant Hasbro will see its coffers full to overflowing
after the July 4 release, perfectly timed for a consumer
run on already popular Transformers figures, comic
books, videogames and cartoons. "Transformers"
is the apotheosis of product placement, using tried-and-true
formulas in the story department as a showcase for
the toys (already featured in the 1986 toon "The
Transformers: The Movie"). Best of all for anyone
who put coin into the production, pic builds off multiple
generations of fans, from the kids obsessed with the
robots at their launch in 1984 to those collecting
the latest incarnations today.
Adult dweebs still enthralled by the figurines' facile
mythology have flooded the Web with complaints that
the franchise has been tampered with to form a (relatively)
cohesive plot, but most viewers either won't notice
or won't care. At the center of the tale is Sam Witwicky
(Shia LaBeouf), an average 11th grader psyched about
getting his first car -- a mysterious, beat-up yellow
Camaro that lot owner Bobby Bolivia (Bernie Mac, in
a brief role) has never seen before.
Sam's attempts to impress cool girl Mikaela (Megan
Fox) are falling flat, and the car's habit of playing
the right song ("Sexual Feeling," "Baby
Come Back") at the right moment only increases
the initial tension. The machine really freaks Sam
out when it drives away at night and transforms into
a giant robot that communicates via light beam with
a UFO.
Meanwhile,
U.S. soldiers in Qatar have been attacked by a helicopter
that transforms itself into one nasty robot, destroying
everything in its path while an offshoot downloads
top-secret files from the computers. Secretary of
Defense John Keller (Jon Voight, doing a Southern
version of Donald Rumsfeld) calls an emergency conference
to analyze the data ("This is way too smart for
the Iranians"), but one of the small robots has
already hacked into Air Force One's computer.
The evil robots are after Sam -- or rather, a discovery
made by Sam's ancestor, an Arctic explorer. Thanks
to introductory narration by good Transformer Optimus
Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen), auds know what's going
on before Sam does: The planet Cybertron was ravaged
by a civil war between the good Autobots and the evil
Decepticons. In their search for an all-powerful cube
called the Allspark, both sides learn that super-evil
Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving) crashed in the Arctic
a millennia ago, and with him the Allspark. Sam's
great-greatt-grandfather's cracked glasses hold the
key to its location.
It's all very easy to follow. Sam's car is one of
the good guys, Bumblebee. He and his fellow Autobots
bond (not literally, though that could be for the
sequel) with the teenager, who pledges to help them
out, fighting not only the Decepticons but also the
uptight feds led by Agent Simmons (John Turturro).
Scripters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, together
with John Rogers, had to keep the basic Transformers
stories intact while placing them in a human environment,
turning to plot elements from a number of successful
pics including "King Kong," "War Games"
and "The Love Bug." Pic also follows the
early Steven Spielberg formula (he's on board as an
exec producer): Take a likeable young Joe with an
ordinary upper-middle-class family and have him champion
some aliens.
More than any of Bay's earlier blockbusters, including
"Pearl Harbor" and "Armageddon,"
"Transformers" has an oddly Reagan-era feel,
at times resembling an Air Force recruitment commercial.
Soldiers, led by Capt. Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sgt.
Epps (Tyrese Gibson), are as much heroes as Sam, fighting
to rid the world not only of authoritarian regimes
-- there's frequent speculation that Russia or China
is involved, proving the Cold War hasn't ended --
but also secret government programs. Ethnic stereotypes
abound, and there's a none-too-subtle jab at the Spanish-as-an-equal-language
lobby. "Freedom is the right of all sentient
human beings," intones Optimus, sounding more
appropriately President Bush circa 2007.
LaBeouf is pleasantly sympathetic, but this is hardly
the role to test his acting chops -- or, for that
matter, anyone else's. Fox is little more than eye
candy, while Bay has put together a nicely multiracial
cast to broaden the pic's appeal. Among the thesps,
Turturro is so over-the-top that he provides a welcome
acknowledgment of the pic's cartoon origins.
But everyone involved knows the actors are mere props
for Industrial Light & Magic's CGI team, which
has put together an impressive show of the latest
tech advances -- not only transforming cars and helicopters
into enormous robots within a few thoroughly believable
seconds, but also setting them in real spaces and
having them interact with real objects. The premise
for these fights hasn't moved beyond 1925's "The
Lost World," but the digital animation has never
been better.
No wonder Bay needed a team of editors, who succeed
in making the fight sequences exciting spectacles,
though toward the end they all tend to become just
a mess of flying wreckage and random explosions --
the outcome is always predictable, if the movements
themselves remain unexpected. Sound is cranked up
to mega-decibels; if the action doesn't generate stomach
tremors, the bass lines will. Overly grand music used
halfway through, during Bumblebee's subjugation scene,
seems to confuse it with the pic's climax.